to my first love ..

That was three years ago,
but i can't forget it though.
The memories still fresh in my mind,
its like an ipod and i keep on pressing rewind.

Remember that day?
when you made a fool out of me.
You have broken my heart,
and now i dont know how to start.

Why don't you love me?
Cant you just care for me?
now im scared to love again
don't want my heart to be broken.

Been inlove with you so long,
never had feelings these strong.
Gave you a love letter,
but you throw it, my world shattered.

You just laughed at me,
i was ashamed really.
All i want is to escape,
from this ocean of problems so deep.

...

They say i already have everything,
and what else could i be wishing?
i've got a family, a lover and friends,
that's what they said 'cause they never  understand.

Yes, i've got a family,
but can i say we are happy?
How can we be if quarrels occur everyday?
misunderstandings and chaos happens day by day.

Yes, i've got a lover,
but we can never be together.
Long distance relationships dont have any assurance.
many doubts, yet we're not given any chance.

Yes, i've got friends,
but are they really staying until the end?
some were fake, only few are true.
that's why i can't trust anyone, No!

They say im lucky but i guess im not.
They say that everything i wanted, i already got.
But no, they're wrong cause that isnt real.
i feel im nothing, unloved, and these scars in my heart still havent healed..

:(

.. i hate it when im alone,

'cause memories keep appearing

on my mind.. Flashbacks of those happy times..

and i realize at the end, that memories are 

just meant to be reminisced..

past is past.. we can never go back.. i 

hope time machines are real so

that whenever i miss something or someone

in my past, i would just go back

and be happy again..

now, it seems like everything

is complicated... really complicated..