Sleepless nights and restless days .. i feel sick and tired , not physically but emotionally ... my mind just wont stop thinking about what's happening in my life, about the things that i've done, and about the things that i heard from other people ... i know these problems are just God's way to test my faith for Him , but isn't this enough ? i mean, i just got tired ! My life's just like a cycle .. i feel happy now but sad later , happy again then feel sad over and over again .. maybe i can say that i've never been genuinely happy, like my body intricated into masking all the lowly stumped feelings i've always had, shoved in a hidden keepsake locked deep down in my heart ...
its just that something always tries to ruin the moment whenever i feel happy .. the joyous feeling is just a temporary one , that fades away after a short period of time .. it was like a "high on life" adrenaline , felt for just an hour or two .. the happiness left as quick as they came ... was i ever really happy ? that's the question in my mind .. -_-
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