Saturday, March 31, 2012

Regrets :\

   Twenty-seventh day of the month.. our special day, the day that we (or am I only?) treasure the most. We decided to give each other a gift. He said he wants a letter so I gave him one. On that letter contains the words I've been longing to tell him, phrases that describe my emotions. I wrote there the feelings that I've hidden, and now, I'm full of regrets. It's like my pride was lost. i hate it but it's so BADUY! I haven't seen the way he reacted when he read it but I can imagine him laughing. It was like a deja vu, sad to say that it happened again. The only difference is that I "voluntarily" gave a letter to my first love (3 years ago), while to this guy, he was the one who asked for it. Every night i think about it and I just can't help but to worry because he didn't call nor text me since he read the letter. I'm scared on what he would say.
   I saw his pictures together with his friend, and it's like bitterness overflowed through my heart. Jealousy has stricken me. I want him to pay his attention only to me, but then it dwelled in my mind that I don't have the right to.. I'm just a "FAKE-GIRLFRIEND." We're not really lovers and in the first place, he didn't court me. Though he told me that he loves me, but there isn't a commitment between the two of us. I'm just assuming, and I don't have any little bit of right to blame him for being with someone else.

#iMYJai</3

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